You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
