Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
