walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
