Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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