You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
