wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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