Duck Duck Cougar?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
