I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
