i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
