Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
