is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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