You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
