when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
