i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
