we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
