This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
