a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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