Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
