do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just found puke in my bra..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
