I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
