It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
