3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
