If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
