I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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