it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
