its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
