So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
