meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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