Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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