just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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