I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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