turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
