I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
