did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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