It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize