No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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