Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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