I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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