The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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