Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
