Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
