My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
