I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
