call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
