It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
