I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
