Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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