I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
