Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i would one night stand the shit outta him
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
