before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
