he thought i was a dude.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
