Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
