ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i think im in europe. pls send help
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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