The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
