I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I love having hate sex.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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