fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
