I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
