It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
