IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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