I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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