Christians are straight up FREAKS
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
