did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
