Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
