dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
